The only way to face your fears is through. Learn how to be uncomfortable and live on the edge of your comfort zone. That is what is keeping you from success. If you see an opportunity but are too afraid to do it, how will you ever grow? If you know that social media and TikTok are the best way to grow your business, you have to have the courage to put yourself on display. Going from point A to point B is going to take some steps, and those steps will be uncomfortable but so worth it. Join Harbir Sian as he talks to the Optometrist at Eyecare on the Square and public speaker, Dr. Carly Rose. Learn how she grew her brand through social media marketing, especially on TikTok. Discover how she broke out of her comfort zone to really be her true authentic self. Find out how you can control and push through your human desires, and more. Start being comfortable in the uncomfortable today.
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Dr. Carly Rose - Living At The Edge Of Your Comfort Zone
Thank you so much for taking the time to join me. I've been doing this for over three years, but every single time I'm super-duper grateful for everybody who's tuning in and giving me feedback, reviews, and all of those things. Thank you so much for doing that. Please keep doing it. Tell your friends and let them know about the conversations that we're having here. I'm trying to bring on guests that are going to bring us value in some way or another. In this episode, our guest is going to bring us value in so many ways. I'm so excited. This is a person I've been wanting to have on for so long. Finally, I have the one and only Dr. Carly Rose here on the show.
In case you don't know who Dr. Carly Rose is, she graduated from the Illinois College of Optometry. She did her residency in Cincinnati. She is doing her fellowship at the American Academy of Optometry. She owns two private practices. She is a very well-known and highly-demanded speaker on ad boards, and doing all the other stuff in the industry. She started her own residency location, so for people who are looking for a residency, make sure you check that out. She is the TikTok queen if you didn't know this already. Go follow her on TikTok. Thank you so much, Carly, for joining me here on the show. I'm so happy to have you.
Thank you for having me. I'm super excited. I can't believe we just met for the first time in person. When was that?
A couple of months ago.
When you went to Chicago. I'm consistently shocked like, "I haven't met you in person. I feel like we've met somewhere along the lines,” but this must be the first because of COVID.
It is weird when you meet somebody and it feels like you've met before. It feels like you're seeing a friend. The first time I had that feeling was in New York when I went to Vision Expo. I was running into all these amazing people that I felt were friends of mine, including Inna, who I know you know well, and Jennifer Stewart, and all these other lovely people. I was giving everyone hugs like we were best friends. I was like, "This is the very first time we've ever seen each other in person."
The first time Inna and I met was like that too. We talk on the phone and we text. We're friends. We are doing an event together and we were like, "Hi." It's so cool. It's like a reunion.
This was the case with you. For so many people, our community is great. The people that we tend to connect with online are good people. When I meet them in person, they are genuinely that cool person that I met online. The energy I got from you was a super cool person. It was one of the things I got. I was like, "This girl is cool." I don't know if you feel that way or not.
That’s not the adjective I used to describe myself often.
I want to dive into that a little bit too. The first thing I want to talk about is you said you're not a fan of being in the spotlight, but you are in the spotlight. You are doing amazing things, not just TikTok but your business, your speaking, and all the stuff you're doing in the industry. When I met you in Chicago, you went out of your way to come and say hi to me because I was doing a talk there in one of these big convention rooms off the side. You came all the way out to say hi. We chatted for five minutes. I turned around and there was a lineup of people behind me waiting to say hi to you. It was awesome. I feel like that person who's cool by association. That was me.
You were on the main stage.
I chatted with Carly for five minutes. I turned around and there was a lineup of students.
I broke into an event I wasn't supposed to be at. I was like, "Hi," and now I'm leaving.
That's awesome. Let's talk about that. Are you shy?
I wouldn't say I'm shy. Maybe that's by training because I also have a lot of years in the service industry like restaurants, and bartending. I can hold conversations because that's what that world is, but I don't enjoy it. Getting an audience is not a motivation for me. The motivation for me is more Machiavellian. It's a means to an end. I know that marketing is a piece. Now, I know more than ever that it's a humongous piece to tackle the goals I have set forward for myself.
Sometimes when we have goals or dreams, steps in the process to get there may not be comfortable. We were talking about this comfort zone. A patient recommended a book that I read called The Comfort Crisis. I haven't read it yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to love it because I've always been one to safely and intentionally keep myself outside of my comfort zone. I do that on purpose and by design. Being on stage, lecturing, and on social media is very much outside of my comfort zone, but I know it's important and so I do it anyway. I always tell my daughter, "You're allowed to be afraid. Fear is a natural feeling. It's a human emotion. It guides and keeps us safe, but be afraid and do it anyway."
When you're afraid to do something, be afraid and do it anyway.
That's the definition of courage. It's not that you're never afraid, it's that you're afraid but you still keep going. You're a courageous person as well. How do you keep yourself on that the edge of your comfort zone or even on the other side of that line? What are you doing? What are you telling yourself? Was there some point earlier in your life or career where you decided this is where I'm going to be?
The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort To Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self
Let's start with optometry school. I've always kept myself outside of my comfort zone since day one. It's a part of who I am. I'm a high-achiever, entrepreneurial, or whatever you want to call it. That archetype has been in my DNA since birth. I never planned on going to college. I was going to going to go hard toward building a business of some capacity. That has always been in my DNA, but in optometry school, I had my goals of private practice ownership. I thought it was going to maybe take money more years than I did, or be more time-consuming than what my reality found because once I stepped into private practice, I just kept going. It didn't stop at the ownership. That part took me by surprise.
I thought almost the end goal was ownership. That has proven to not be the case because now we were chatting that I have four business LLCs and a hundred more I can think of. To answer your question, yes, I always knew that that was going to be who I was in a professional setting, but I did not expect it. We had some catalysts, and it's much bigger than I anticipated. I'm loving it. I see all of the possibilities and now it's game on. Let's go.
People who get tattoos talk about it being addictive. If you get one, you'll like and love it, and you want to get another one. I feel like entrepreneurship and business ownership is similar. You start a business and see the things you can do, or get that positive feedback. The business is growing, and you realize the cause and effect of what you do and what it amounts to. It then starts to get addictive like, "If I could do it here, I want to start this other thing."
We could do anything. Now, all bets are off. What can we not do? Nothing. It's almost like going to the Cheesecake Factory and their menu is 100 pages long. It almost becomes a problem of too many things you could do. You have to be selective with your time, associations, and where you put your energy.
That becomes a whole other problem when you get to a certain level. You feel like you had this entrepreneurship gene from when you were born. I've heard that too. Sometimes people say, "Entrepreneurs are born. They're not made," but I'd like to counter that thought process because I feel like I wasn't born in that way.
I may have over time developed that through what I was saying where I did something and thought, "That was cool. It worked well. Let me try more." For somebody who's maybe starting out or they are early in their optometry journey or business journey, what would you say to them to try to encourage them to do what you've done as far as being at the edge of their comfort zone, or trying things that make you a bit uncomfortable?
We can even look outside of optometry. For example, one thing that I have wanted to do for a few years is taking an improv class. I saw its benefit to the whole leadership piece, having difficult conversations, and public speaking. Outside of optometry benefits all aspects of my optometry life and it's very uncomfortable. You're going into a group and alone. You have to do the most ridiculous exercises in front of all of these strangers. Little things like that are a very safe and easy way to challenge yourself. I've given lectures in front of 5,000 people live, and this improv class with twelve strangers made me more nervous.
I can imagine. That's making me feel a little uncomfortable just sitting here, but I've enjoyed comedy and I've never tried it in depth. Back in high school, we had certain things that we would do, and that stuff is tough. I've also heard that improv is the way to unlock a lot of those fears that we have. Can you share a couple of stories or one at least story experience from that improv thing that you feel resonated with you?
It was great. Going into it, the instructor set a lot of boundaries and expectations, "This is a safe space. This is a non-judgmental space. You are not allowed to judge other people. The more you bring to the table your authentic self or put yourself out there, the better this is going to be." What's the worst that can happen? My dad has this phrase that he said my whole life, and one of my very best friends said this phrase. We celebrated our 31st friendship anniversary. We've been together forever. She and I were best friends from a young age. When we would come across a challenging situation, he would say, "They can't eat you. No matter what happens, you're going to make it out alive. You're going to be fine." Knowing the reality of, "I am safe. This is fine," just physically do it. That's all you have to do.
When you're faced with a challenge, it's not going to eat you. No matter what happens, you're going to make it out alive.
I love it. The next time anybody is about to embark on an endeavor or go through some crazy experience, just remember they cannot eat you. You said a word that I was trying to get at, which is a very important word and I'm realizing more, and that is authenticity. When I was saying I got that energy and you felt like a cool person, that's what I was getting at. You felt very authentic and comfortable in your skin. Tell me a little bit about that. What does authenticity mean to you?
Authenticity has become a bit of a buzzword. It's losing some of its meaning, but if we're getting back to the meaning, it's being true to who you are, which requires a lot of self-awareness. It's an inside job. You have to know who you are to be able to maintain that identity. When you are in that alignment with who you are, you can feel it. It's tangible. That's when the magic happens and the floodgates are unleashed. It's like having a personal mission statement and a grounding place you can always come back to.
It's funny because before we got on this, we were talking about this idea of transparency and authenticity, and showing the good and the bad, which is exactly why Inna and I started our little live show and we call it Transparent to talk like, "This is who we are." Do you know Jimmy Deom and Roya's podcast? We did their podcast, and for the whole hour, we talked about I had gotten back from Costa Rica to do an Ayahuasca retreat. We spend the whole podcast talking about Ayahuasca. You can connect with genuinely who you are, who you came to be, and knowing that, feeling that, seeing that, and touching that. It's an inside job. You have to get real with who you are.
Comfort Zone: Authenticity is being genuinely who you are and who you came to be. You have to get really real with who you are and there are dark sides to that because you're human.
There are dark sides and bad sides to that because we're humans. Knowing and loving helps you know, and love other people because how you look at and think about everyone else is a reflection of you and how you view yourself. Continuing to get back to who you are, who you want to be, and your true identity, that's the definition of what we're trying to get to with authenticity. It has become such a buzzword. What does that mean anymore?
I do appreciate that it is a bit of a buzzword, but if you can define it like that, it helps because then people aren't just throwing it around. If somebody is throwing it around, you can ask them, "How would you define yourself like this?" You then know you're being authentic to yourself. I like that personal mission statement side of things too. It's something that you can always come back to like, "Am I making a decision that is true to me or authentic to my mission statement?" A few months ago, I was doing a talk to a small group of young entrepreneurs. It was maybe 50 people.
That's not a small group. My first lecture was one person. Fifty people is a good lecture.
It's funny because in my head it looked like it was ten people. That's why I said small, but then I remembered it was 50 people who registered for the event. I'll take back the small. It was a group of young business people in the area here. It was me and a few other people on the panel. We have very different backgrounds for the speakers. I'm coming through the eyecare space, but there was one older gentleman who was maybe 60 or 65. He's very accomplished in the real estate world. He was so calm in the way he was talking that everybody was drawn in.
They all stopped and listened.
Every sentence he spoke I was like, "I want to be like this guy." When I did my talk, I did a little bit on the authenticity side because it's been something that's important to me lately. Having kids makes that important to me.
Kids are mirrors. They show you everything.
In the past, when I was starting my social media journey, getting out there, and all this stuff a couple of years ago, I had people ask me, "Who do you think you are trying to be in the public eye? You're an optometrist."
I get a lot of that.
I had a slide that says, "Who do you think you are?" I pointed at them, "Who do you think you are? Make sure you know." After everything was done, at the end of the night, the older gentleman came to me and pulled me aside. He's like, "I liked your talk. You're doing great things." He's like, "That question you asked everybody, you need to ask yourself that question." I was like, "I do." He's like, "No." He looked me dead in the eye. He's like, "I want you to ask yourself that question." I was like, "My God." I got tingles. "I'm going to have to go home and journal."
I still do it now almost daily because he did that. I'm getting deeper like, "Who are you? What is it that you're trying to do?" Sometimes I'm honest, "I'm doing this for the likes." "This time you could do it for the likes but what are you trying to accomplish? Are you on that path?" That's where the authenticity thing is key to me. Coming to me like that has made it stick. If you're tuning in to this, ask yourself who you think you are. Pay attention to what Carly is saying here. It is going to help you on that path.
That reminded me of something else I did that is very uncomfortable. I sent an email to 15 or 20 of my closest friends and family asking to dirt on me, "What do I do that drives you crazy?" This is an anonymous survey. "What can I benefit from? Do you consider me loyal? Do you consider me trustworthy? Do you consider me lazy? Who is Carly? Blinders off, who do I show up as in the world? Who do I want to show up as in the world? What do I want to do with this one experience?" It is uncomfortable.
That sounds very uncomfortable. In general, how did you feel about the responses?
They rock you to your core. There was also a section to free type. I was getting paragraphs from people so I was like, "I wasn't expecting this." It was a lot to digest but it’s insanely valuable.
That's unbelievable. I'm so impressed with you. That's very cool because I think a vast majority of people would not do that, even if we know it's super valuable and helpful. I've thought about doing that but I get nervous because I know I'm very lucky. People ask me, "How do you do all the stuff? What's been helpful or important to you?"
Having a very small core group of people who tell me how it is has been invaluable. I tell younger people to try to develop that for themselves. It's an ongoing thing. They'll message me like, “That was dumb.” If I ask them, "Go back twenty years to the period of time we know each other and tell me what you think," I feel like there would be a lot of difficulties there.
That's all ego. We have two brains. We have the ego brain and the self brain. The more we're in alignment with who we are and who we wanted to become, we can feel it. That's where our emotions are good and numbing is bad because our emotions are the guidance system. It's our navigation. If I'm stressed, something's off. It's a tool to investigate those areas and get curious about them. Emotion is telling you something. That's all ego. The ego is there to keep us safe, but that's also why we like the likes. We can't even do it for the good either because that's not the authentic self. It's weird.
Your emotions are your guidance systems. They're your navigation.
It's weird but you're telling it how it is and I like that. I want to get into the business side of things here, but I like where we're heading. I want to ask you about Ayahuasca. How long ago was that?
That was in May. A few of my family and friends have also done it. We have a little bit of a collective experience. I've read a lot of books on it. I've been researching it for about a decade. I did a retreat that had medical staff on-site in case something went wrong. We did a health intake. There were Amazonian shamans. It was in Costa Rica and was a week-long, but we did four ceremonies and two breathwork ceremonies. I may be remembering that incorrectly, but we did four plant medicine therapies or ceremonies and breathwork. You then go home and try to put your life back together.
Is that how it feels that you have to put it back together?
Yes. It's like cleaning out a junked drawer. You have to pull it all out, figure out what you're looking at, what you want to get rid of, what you want to keep, and then put it all back together.
Taking Ayahuasca is like cleaning out the junk drawer inside of you.
Generally speaking, you would say it was a positive experience.
Yes, massively. I'm planning on going back, but it is a lot when you're also running businesses, have kids, and have other things where you can't put your entire life on hold. I'm thinking of the summer again. We'll see what happens. It was super cool.
Is this something you would encourage?
No.
How would you explain to someone to look into this or consider it?
It's like the improv class. You have to know what you're signing up for. You have to be ready to be uncomfortable, and then you got to be ready. There's a phrase in the plant medicine world that you have to be called to do it. It's basically healing for almost everyone that does it. I have yet to meet someone that did not have a healing miracle, but you have to be ready for it. It's like bootcamp. You're going to come out in better shape. Are you ready to walk through that? It's a lot. You have to be ready for it.
That's good to know. Let's talk about businesses. You have Eyecare on the Square, how long has that been open?
This will be its 10th year. My sister opened it cold. I purchased it from her almost five years ago, and then I opened a second location. We did a soft launch in December.
A second location of Eyecare on the Square or The Clear Experience?
Eyecare on the Square is primary care. I've always loved dry-eye. I brought in slowly all of these pieces of dry-eye equipment to build an internal dry-eye clinic and that grew a lot. We were out of square footage. Eyecare on the Square is around 700 square feet, and then we had two exam lanes, a full optical visual field, OCT, Optos, radiofrequency, LipiFlow, LipiScan, and IPL.
For 700 square feet, you had all of that? That's crazy.
It was insane. We were booked out far because we had all these dry-eye patients and comprehensive care. We couldn't expand. This space that I'm in right now came available and it's half a mile down the street. I moved all of the dry-eye equipment and then because I have IPL, radiofrequency, skincare line, and cosmetics, I brought in a nurse practitioner and aesthetician to do filler Botox, chemical peels, facials, and then expand on radiofrequency and IPL.
That's amazing. The dry-eye conversation has been growing a lot. It's gotten a lot of traction in the last couple of years. The aesthetics conversation is a little bit newer in our space but also gaining a lot of traction because these devices are coming over from the aesthetic space to eye care and have that application.
We have IPL and radiofrequency. We're doing that stuff as well. We've taken our second exam room and turned it into a treatment room. We're trying to grow that side of the business. I'm asking this selfishly, but I know there are other people out there. We have an esthetician, and she's reasonably busy, but I want to max it out. What do I need to do? What worked for you? We'll do a franchise. We'll open your first Clear Experience franchise here in Vancouver. I'll run it. What do I need to do to get to that level?
I alluded to the fact that I launched a fourth LLC that is a digital product. It's the best way we can describe it. I get requests daily on how I go from point A to point B in five years. That's longer than a 15-minute or 1-hour conversation, so I have started to flush it all out and then categorize it into buckets. We are putting it in video format like a masterclass style, but with downloadables and homework.
Let’s say I did door-to-door marketing with each location and this is how I did it. I called ahead, set up appointments, and brought swag bags, coffee, and bagels at least once a week for a year. This is exactly what I did. You say, "How do I make a swag bag? Where do I even start? What do I put in it?" We will have, "This is what I put in mind. I ordered it from Vistaprint. This is how I designed it on Canva." It's a step-by-step on how I did everything I did. I'm not a genius or anything. I google how to do things and then do them.
Comfort Zone: If you want to get from point A to B in your business, try doing door-to-door marketing. Call ahead, set up appointments, and bring swag bags.
I read about a book a week. I'm taking the information from the book. It's a Venn diagram. I pull a little from here and a little from here. This is the Carly Rose soup. I'm putting the recipe for the soup online for people to enjoy if they want to try to recreate it at home if they want to. We're starting with a marketing bucket. It's basically how to establish yourself as the expert in your specialty, and tell everyone about it. The next may be HR, staff, culture, and implementation. How do you get the whole team to love this mission that you're creating? That could be one. There are a lot of ideas I have cooking.
I love to have you back on 5 or 6 times to flush the whole thing out. We'll start a whole series on the Carly Rose's Corner. I know you do your own stuff and you're busy. Another thing is you talked about door-to-door. You take some bagels, coffee, and wag bags. Who are you taking that to?
We've done it for dry-eye. When we do it to dry-eye, we would hit local ODs to do OD referrals from dermatologists, rheumatologists, endocrinologists, or anyone that has a huge dry-eye patient base. They may not even know that they have a huge dry-eye patient base. We're about to do it for Ortho-K, so we also do myopia control. Our target list is other ODs. The way I want to position this is that I believe all things can and should be mutually beneficial. It is not a zero-sum game. It's not like I win, you lose. I believe all of us can and should win. Always take that to it.
If I'm marketing other optometrists, it's not like that. It's more like dating. How can I help you? How can you help me? How are we in this relationship together? How do we build trust over the years? How do we care for this patient base together? One of our first marketing events for Ortho-K is hosting an in-house wet lab because it's more hands-on. We're inviting the ODs into the community. We'll give a small lecture on myopia, the problem that it is, what we're doing about it, and what other resources are in Cincinnati that you can utilize. It's not me, that's fine. We all need to do something about myopia. It's that vibe. That's what I want to bring to the table versus like, "Refer to me."
The wet lab, are you doing that in your office?
Yes. We're doing Prokera amniotic membrane in that wet lab too. All the ODs in the community that want hands-on experience, it’s like, "How do you insert these things? Should you debride? How do you build for it? What's the patient experience? I've never even touched one of these things." "This is how you open the package. You have to rinse it." We're bringing the bio tissue team in. They're going to bring snacks and drinks and educate all of us with hands-on experience. At the end of that, if they decided they don't want to place Prokeras, but they know now the patient that could benefit from it whereas they might not have known before, then they identify and refer. Everyone wins.
Maybe there will be less than a group of ten. Maybe there will be a couple of people who say, "This is something I want to do. I'll implement this in my office," but I would not imagine it's more than a couple of people in that group who are going to make that decision. The majority are going to say, "It's cool but I'm not doing it."
Because I've seen it hands-on, I know now from my personal experience. I can talk to my patient, "Here's how it works. I've done it. I've touched it, but I'm going to send you over here to do it." I would feel more comfortable having that conversation and referring that patient over. That's a cool idea. You did something like that for dry-eye as well or was that just Ortho-K?
Yes. I've done about five years of dry-eye and stuff like that. Dry-eye is one that I've been chugging along with for a very long time. I might have even started lecturing on dry-eye before I had my own practice. I've been positioning myself in that platform from the dry-eye perspective for a long time, but then I realized that's just the prototype. It's plug-and-play. I figured out the prototype and now it can be VT, Ortho-K, aesthetics, or dry-eye. It's all the same wheelhouse.
You've developed that protocol now. As you said, you could plug any specialty into that because you know this is how the marketing side works. I'm going to be taking boxes of bagels and swag bags to different ODs around the area. What else? Could you share one other thing that's worked for you as far as may be connecting with the public versus connecting with ODs? Do you do anything public facing specifically?
It's social media. That's a biggie. It's free. Anyone can do it and no one is doing it, I mean we’re all doing it now. We’re filming one of the videos on this product. It’s really close. We've been talking about this for years. It's happening.
If you want to connect to the public, use social media. It's free and anyone can do it.
Put me on the list. I'll be the first.
You could be one of my beta tests. That's another thing. I am not motivated by money. I don't even know where to start on my pricing. It's crazy. Maybe you could beta test and say, "This gave me this much value." I need to figure out the value add. I want it to be a 10X value add because I want things to be a win-win. I want it to be a 10X value add for the provider from the cost. I want to know the value that it would add to your practice, and then I can retro the price.
I got you. You need to know then roughly what value has this added to a practice, and then you can price it accordingly.
Anyone can email me if you want to be part of this launch too because I don't know what I'm doing. I can put you on an email list and we can figure it out together.
How do people connect with you then?
I'm on social media. I have @EyecareOnTheSquare, @TheClearExperience, and @DoctorRoseTalks. For this digital product, we've secured the Instagram handle. There's nothing there but you can go follow it. It's @ForwardFocusAccelerator. That's coming. Those four Instagrams, TikTok, and then my email is DrRose@EyecareOnTheSquare.com. Do you know Gary Vee or Gary Vaynerchuk?
Yes.
I started listening to and following Gary Vee in 2018 because I bought a business. I realized I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not a business owner. I went to optometry school and didn't get my MBA. What the heck do I do? I started consuming content to learn. We're always a student. Gary Vee is huge in the business world. He's going on and on about TikTok and I don't even know what this thing is. I downloaded it and trying to figure it out. My friend of 31 years is a business owner. I called her and said, "Gary Vee says we need to do this TikTok thing."
We're in the mid-30s at this point so I have no idea what I'm doing. It took me a month to figure anything out about the app, and another month to post my first video. It was awkward and terrible, but it was important, so I keep doing it. I keep showing up. It's gamifiable. We don't create the rules of the game, but we know them, so we can use them or not use them.
Comfort Zone: Getting your first TikTok video out there can be awkward and terrible, but it's important. TikTok is gameable. You know the rules of the game so you can use that to your advantage.
There are a lot of important lessons in there. I'll speak for myself, but a lot of others are a bit shy to put themselves out there or "I don't think I'm going to create the perfect viral video, so I'm going to leave it," but it's about showing up and doing it. As you said, it's gamifiable so you learn what the rules are and what sticks and doesn't stick, and fine-tune it. What was the first big video you did that went nuts?
It's a blink exercise video. Why would you think that would go viral? Still to this day, I don’t know why it went viral, but it did. It doesn't have to be complicated. It's what you want to tell people and what you want people to know. It's important to blink when you're on a screen. That's what I'll keep telling 250,000 people that want to listen to me about blink exercises.
You keep finding little things that are relevant to eyecare and you never know which one is going to stay. I want to give a quick shout-out to my friend, Claudine. I don't know if you know Claudine Courey from Montreal, the Eye Drop Shop.
I know the Eye Drop Shop.
She started TikTok a couple of months ago. I remember talking to her and she's like, "How do you do this? It's annoying," but she's stuck with it. Now, she's got 20,000 followers on TikTok or something more. Her videos get lots of likes and views. She knows what's working. It's nothing fancy or crazy, but she's doing it and I love it. It's so cool to see somebody who figured out the rules a little bit and made it work.
it's pretty cool to watch.
She’s another fantastic entrepreneur and hardworking person who I'll have on the show soon. TikTok is gamifiable so do it, learn a little bit, watch some of Carly's videos, and see what stuck for her. I'll be honest with you, I had one massive viral video on TikTok and I haven't bothered to go back and make more. I'm not that interested in going back. I'm more of an Instagram person, but I see the value in TikTok as well.
I want to talk a little bit more about the stuff that maybe doesn't get talked about as much as it should. I was listening to a podcast, the Four Eyes Optometry Podcast and they had Dr. Jasdeep Soni. They were talking about burnout. Burnout is a common topic and it's a real thing. I have my personal perspectives on it. Have you ever experienced burnout? What does that look like for you?
Burnout looks like the ego mind and the self mind. One thing I realized that I was doing a lot of was things for external validation. That's what people-pleasing looks like. There was a quote I heard and I wrote it down because it was so good. It said something along the lines of, "Not having healthy boundaries means that you are more uncomfortable with other people's discomfort or perception of you than your own.” That's that ego mind. That honestly comes right back to authenticity. It's an inside job. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, "What do you want out of life?" Burnout comes from not listening to what we really want.
Not having healthy boundaries means you are more uncomfortable with other people's discomfort than your own.
That's a fantastic insight. That was what Jasdeep was talking about. After he'd gone through it, he realized that he wasn't in alignment. That makes a lot of sense. I've experienced burnout, but I don't know if I've experienced it in a very definite way. What I know is that I go through ebbs and flows or ups and downs. What I've learned is to lean into the downs or the ebbs. When I'm not feeling super productive, I let it be. I don’t force myself to do something when I don’t like it.
There are basic things that need to get done. I got to look after my family, go to work, and see my patients. I understand those things, but social media, podcasting, and all these other things, I love doing it. If I feel like I'm not loving it right now, I've become comfortable with like, "Let me get through this period and when I come back up, I'll be good." In fact, I come back with even more energy than the last peak that I had. That's been my way of working through the potential burnout. Do you have something that you've done that's helped you get through it?
There are a few things, but I do a lot of New Year's resolutions, words of the year, and all of that. My word for this year is inspired. It goes with all of this because it's the inspired action or the inspired thought. It's doing what you're inspired to do and not what you have to do. I may be inspired to clean my closet out and not question that. Go through the motions. It's yourself trying to talk to yourself. That’s what I think inspiration is.
Listening to that is like listening to yourself. Whether it's having a chill day or not doing social media, things are always opportunities or successes, in my mind. There are no bads anymore. The opportunity may be to rest, digest, and relax. As you said, that's an opportunity to come back better. Listening to the voice in your head that inspired thought or action helps a lot because that is authenticity.
That is a very great insight for people to take away from this conversation.
For tools, I meditate a lot because I have found that typical distractions and numbing no longer work. I can't binge-watch TV anymore. It doesn't work for me. I wish it did. There are some days I wish I could have a glass of wine and chill out. I have to chill out and that might be walks outside or any outdoor time. It helps me meditate, journal, silence, and all of those things, which it is hard to find silence when you have a family, multiple businesses, dozens of team members, attorneys, bookkeepers, and CPAs. It's hard to find silence, but I prioritize it in my time management. It's necessary.
You are aware that you need it. You implement that and put it in there.
I've only learned that by not listening and not doing it, and letting the water in the pot get too hot. I'm like, "I can't do that again."
Experience is unfortunately the hard way, but the best way to learn a lesson as well. Hopefully, some people can take these insights away so they don't have to get to that level. They can start implementing these things. I hope you're writing some of this down. If you missed it, go back to it again.
I also do tons of yoga and a little workout. I have to prioritize my physical body.
If you're not physically in a good place, you can't be either mentally.
I do a lot of intermittent fasting. If I eat junk and then try to work, my brain doesn't work. I can't.
Is that your daily routine where you have time-restricted fasting or you don't eat anything and do a proper fast for a couple of days? What is that?
I usually do 16, 18, or 20-hour fasts almost every day, but I listen to my body. It all comes back to listening to what you want once you flushed out your patterns. It is hard in the beginning because your insulin is spiking when it's used to spiking. Once you retrain your hormones and biochemistry to calm back down, it's not hard at all. You just listen to it when you're hungry. It sounds basic but it's not. I heard someone say that if you can control human desires like hunger, and push through that and realize, "I'm not going to die. This is just my ego brain trying to keep me alive, " then it releases your true power. You're like, "This guy is in control of this guy." It's not the other way around. The true magic is getting behind these urges.
Comfort Zone: If you can control and push through your human desires, you will release your true power. Like with hunger, you're not going to die because of that. That's just your ego brain trying to keep you alive.
There are many good books on that topic. One term that's coming to mind and it's going to sound silly is MonkeyBrain. I don't know if that's the name of the book.
There are the monkey brain and the reptilian brain. To me, I simplified it. It's all the ego. It's all that human form. It's human versus soul.
That is a whole other conversation that I'd be very happy to go down.
We can go grab a coffee. Are you going to Expo East?
I am, yes.
Maybe we'll chat in New York.
That’s perfect if we can find the time. I'm sure your schedule is going to be fully loaded. We'll find some time. Tell me what's one difficult experience or challenge you've had personally in the last couple of years. I feel like a lot of times, it's tied to COVID but maybe not tied to COVID if you can, whether it's with your business or something else regarding your professional career.
It will always be staffing because there comes a time when as the owner and the leader, you have to make tough decisions. You're not ever going to have all of the information. The decision may be that you have to let a team member go, for example. That is heavy and hard. It almost feels like mom's guilt. It feels similar to me. It's realizing that sometimes the piece I play in someone's puzzle is not their savior, but maybe I have to be part of their rock bottom too. That's very uncomfortable.
You always hear the stories of, "I was let go from my job and it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me because I went on to this new career that I love." I realized that sometimes that is the most loving piece like, "This is not a good fit for either one of us. We have to part ways in the most loving way possible,” but that is always going to be a very hard conversation for me to have.
That's a good perspective to have in the sense that you might be helping that person get to a better place.
That was a hard pill for me to swallow because I want to help everyone.
You have more staff than I do. You are dealing with it on a different level. How much staff do you have? You said dozens. What's the number?
We're a little over a dozen right now. I see the potential for that to almost double in 2023.
That's huge growth. I like to end every episode with the same two questions for every guest. I would like to apologize that we didn't get a chance to talk too much about The Clear Experience. It's amazing what you've done, what you've designed, the aesthetic of the place, and the color scheme. You got gold and dark green. I'm down for that dark green. It's very rich and luxurious looking. I love that. Great job with that. I'm excited to see that continuing to grow and I'm excited to learn from you. I'm going to be part of your Accelerator. For people who are interested in being part of the Accelerator, make sure you contact Dr. Rose.
People think my first name is Rose and I answer it. It's fine.
I heard somewhere that people with two first names are crazy. I don't know if that's true or not.
It lines up. There is a reason I went to a whole Ayahuasca retreat.
You got to have at least one screw loose. Make sure you connect with Carly. From the limited interactions that we've had, it's been amazing and positive. I love what you're putting out there. Carly, the two final questions I ask every guest. One, if you could step in a time machine and go back to a point in your life that was a particularly difficult time, what would you tell yourself? Feel free if you'd like to share that moment. I'd like you to tell me what would you tell yourself if you could go back to that moment at whatever age you were. What would you tell younger Carly at that time?
I did not have an easy childhood. The first 25 years of my life were very difficult. My mom passed away a few years ago.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Thank you. You're going to get a bigger answer. If you want my life story, I'll write a book.
The entire answer.
The first 25 years were rough. My mother passed away. My dad and I have had a lot of great deep conversations since then. A few months ago, he was at my house and we were kicking it. I said something like, "Wouldn't mom just die if she could see everything we're doing right now?" He got pretty sentimental in saying how he has a lot of regrets. He wishes he could have done things differently with our existence. I have two sisters. I was like, "No, that was my biggest learning lesson and I am so grateful for that quarter of a century of class." The class was in session for 25 years for me.
It was like, "Give it to me, life. I can take it. I want to learn." That is what it must have been. I remember being in optometry school and looking around and being like, "No one here knows how to cope with life.” It gives that comfort thing. My normal is being uncomfortable. I don't know what it feels like to be comfortable, calm, stable, and safe. I sat back and thought, "I have so many skills and assets because of my negative experiences and opportunities. I am so much more equipped than a lot of people to handle anything." I have yet to experience something that I felt was insurmountable. There's nothing I would change about it. I would tell myself to have gratitude for this because I will see the value one day.
That's a fantastic message. It's one that many people could benefit from when they're younger and going through a tough time. This is somehow going to make you better later on.
It sounds so hard to say. It feels like you're almost invalidating the victim's experience, but it's not like that. I am genuinely grateful for it. Release the anger and realize the blessing.
It's an amazing message. Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate that. It's not always easy to share things that were difficult in the past, but that's very kind. That's going to help a lot of people. This is the final question. In everything that you've accomplished to this point, how much of it would you say is due to luck, and how much is due to hard work?
We create our luck. Everyone has probably a similar amount of luck. Luck is a piece that I do not undervalue. It's the magic piece and it's the piece for all of the greatness, but there's a way to tap into it. It comes back to listening to that inspiration. If you follow the inspiration, you'll find luck. A vast majority of it is luck, coincidence, and divine intervention.
Comfort Zone: Luck is a magic piece for all the greatness and there is a way to tap into it. If you listen and follow inspiration, you'll find luck.
That's very interesting. That is a different answer than what most people will give me and I love it. That's fantastic.
What do most people give you?
Most people will say it's 99% hard work, which you can't take out the hard work. You didn't sit in a room and wait for something to happen and become who you are. You worked at it. The reason I find that answer so intriguing is I think in a very similar vein. A lot of people call it luck, but I don't like the word luck. It is divine intervention. It's the universe giving you opportunities.
It's conspiring in your support.
It's working for you.
I will button it up with this. The end result is my hard work. The what is my hard work. The how is the luck.
Tell me your why if you have it.
My why is ever-changing because as this thing grows, my why must grow. My why started with changing my storyline and my future. If I allowed my future to happen to me, it would not have been what I knew I deserve. The first why was changing my future, and then I realized that was almost so easy and achievable. If I can do it, anyone can do it. If I could go from where I started to where I am now, then I can do anything. Now, the why is how I can make a positive effect on humanity. We don't complain about what's going on in the world anymore. We do something about it.
That's a great perspective to have and a great why. To leave a better mark on the universe and make the universe and the world a better place. Thank you so much, Carly. Any last couple of words or final words you want to share here before we wrap up?
I am so grateful that you had me on to chat about this. This could open so many more doors in the future that we don't even know. We don't even know what's coming for us. It's super exciting. I appreciate it.
It is my pleasure to have you on. This one conversation has led me to five other conversations that I want to have with you. Maybe, we'll have you back some time and we'll go through some more of it. Thank you again, Carly. I appreciate it. Thanks for everything that you're doing, for inspiring the rest of us, showing us the opportunities, and possibilities within the industry, and leading the way in that regard. Thank you, everybody. Make sure you give Carly a shout. Let her know that you are tuning in. Throw a screenshot on Instagram or something and tag us. Make sure you leave a review and let me know what you think. Take care. I'll see you in the next episode.
Important Links
Dr. Carly Rose - LinkedIn
@EyecareOnTheSquare - Instagram
@TheClearExperience - Instagram
@DoctorRoseTalks - Instagram
@ForwardFocusAccelerator - Instagram
TikTok – Dr. Rose
About Dr. Carly Rose
Dr. Carly Rose was born and raised in the Greater Cincinnati area. She received a Bachelor of Science in Biology from Northern Kentucky University. Following graduation, she decided to experience city living and moved to Chicago in optometry school. When not learning about eyes, Dr. Rose spent much of those four years enjoying all of the food Chicago had to offer! After optometry school graduation, Dr. Rose chose to complete a year-long residency at the Cincinnati VAMC Eye Clinic. Following residency training, she furthered her experience by qualifying and becoming a Fellow of the American Academy of Optometry. She is a current member of the American Optometric Association, the Ohio Optometric Association, and the American Academy of Optometry. Dr. Rose has owned Eyecare on the Square, a full scope primary care private practice for five years. She founded Clear Eyes + Aesthetics, a luxury dry eye medspa just over one year ago. The most recent adventures include launching a residency location, speaking globally to fellow eye care providers, and creating accelerator tools for the optometric entrepreneurial community via the latest venture: Forward Focus.